The Beholder November 30, 2020 – Posted in: Uncategorized

The Beholder

A realm of my own
A castle called home
I’ve been searching so long
For a room filled with gold –
My very own throne.

Nowhere to be found,
I turn my eyes down
And watch as tears hit the ground.
Hit the ground.
Hit the ground.
Pound the pavement.
Hit the ground.
Tired, and worn, I hit the ground.

At the shore, I wait for a wave small enough to ride,
but today they are choppy and unkind,
crashing sideways with the currents of a storm.
To ride one is to end up a mile down shore.
I look down shore,
and see a lone beach cruiser,
struggling to turn their wheels against the wind.
It’s just us out here, having our reckoning
with the mother of nature.
And so I stand, staring at the water,
sand pelting hard against my ankles.

At the waves
and at the wind
and at the sand that won’t coddle,
I scream.
I look down at the beach cruiser,
deep in his own storm,
and for a beat I feel for his burning legs.
And I scream again.
And again.
And again.
And I stomp and I grind my heels into the hard sand.
Into the sand
Into the sand

At home,
fresh from a shower,
when it’s quiet, and calm, and Sunday,
I look into the small circular mirror that sits on the sill,
and I apply my cucumber & banana facial mask.
I smooth circles around either cheek, and then up and over my nose.
I cover my chin, the soft hairs around my lips, and then squeeze a small pearl from the tube
For the delicate skin around my eyes.

With my face deliciously covered in
Healing hydrating heaven, I gaze up to my eyes
and behold my unmasked features-

Holding my gaze, I scan all the detail that is small,
And notice, as if for the first time,
A flicker of a flame – the tip of a fire that
Has traveled up from my belly, where it dances
With abandon
Abandon.
Abandon.

Behold the defeat that falls to the ground,
Behold the rage that screams across the sea.
Behold the fear that digs into the sand,
Behold the beauty that gazes into the mirror,
And behold
The fire that lights the way.

 

//

At Stono Creek, we believe that wellness is power, and so it is our mission to promote feeling, doing, and being well. The above is a piece written by Stono founder Dee Heffernan as part of our #Currents series.  Sign up for our newsletter if you’d have these delivered straight to your inbox.  We do not spam 🙂 

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